Perhaps I could continue where I left off with this text:
So there I was, standing at the smoldering rubble of the world I had known for some thirty years. At my feet lay pieces of my steadfast faith in the government and the authorities. Burning right beside it was my almost blind belief in the established media, the fire fuelled by heaps of The Economist, Scientific American, Helsingin Sanomat newspapers and magazines. The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins lay further with half of its pages ripped out.
I had lost my compass and all my maps. Yet, I was not lost. I had woken up from a dream, a dream where I had dreamt that I was a separate body and its story experiencing an external world. I felt an absolute stillness and happiness pervaded my whole being. The world around me shone with a beauty I had witnessed only for brief moments before. Everything was inside me and I was inside everything.
I walked to a library, one which I love very much, a scenic four story building on Richardinkatu in Helsinki. Took the steps to the second floor and walked to a section which I had never before visited, nor thought about visiting, the one with books on religions and spirituality. I picked up a book on Buddhism and started reading. "Enlightenment, satori, Zen, emptiness, non-attachment, eightfold path, oneness, non-duality", new concepts and words poured at me. I needed to understand.
Echart Tolle, Rupert Spira, Ramana Maharshi, Buddha, Jesus. Slowly a hazy picture started to form. "So it was all out there, spoken by so many people over the eons! And of course, it had to be, how many absolute truths can there be! Hahhah! Amazing, there is truth and it's right in front of us and it can be realized by anyone. That we are the Universe, Oneness or God, or whatever you want to call it, experiencing itself, looking at itself through innumerable eyes. And when we forget this we fall into a waking dream, in which we imagine to be just the body and its story."
For a long time I thought it was all a big unfortunate mishap. That humanity had fallen from grace and landed on the rocky ground of separation and fear by accident. It was perhaps when I was again sitting at Richardinkatu's library and happened to pick up the gospel of Thomas, a gospel which had remained lost for almost two millennia, before being rediscovered in a cave in Egypt in 1945, that another suspicion first lifted its head.
It's a short book, comprising of things Jesus has said to have told one of his closest disciples. What Jesus talked about was strikingly aligned with Buddhism as well as with my own understanding. It contains quotes like: "If those who lead you say to you, 'See, the kingdom is in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you. Rather, the kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you. When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living father."
"Why would this book which appeared to contain so much truth have been left out from the Bible and discredited by the established churches? Could this be intentional?" I sat there thinking.
I naturally also looked at what western science had to offer on consciousness and quickly discovered it was doing an appalling job at trying to explain it. The current scientific paradigm, materialism, which had done wonders for humanity, wasn't suited for metaphysics. Even though materialism was excellent for describing the spin of an electron, it was getting nowhere with its descriptions of consciousness, trying to thrust its own limitations onto it. Here the work of a young contemporary scientist, Bernardo Kastrup, was especially influential.
It was then I came upon the Law of One, a series of books said to have been channeled in the eighties by an entity well advanced of humans. It described how infinite emptiness become infinite intelligence and how this infinite intelligence divided itself to create many out of one. It explained our existence on Earth as humans as a sort of school, where souls come to select either a path of love or hate.
The haze started to clear. So there was a sort of a cosmic dance. Oneness dancing with itself to experience and learn. The dance on Earth was said to have been characterized for some 26 000 years by separation and ego. This allowed for circumstances where souls experienced fear and hate and had to make an active choice between love and forgiveness or hate and vengefulness. This period was said to now be coming to an end and separation was dissolving as the cosmic daybreak floods the planet with light. That souls could soon "graduate" to the next dimension, given that the selection had been made.
But really? The mundane life felt so normal. Going to the Alepa to buy some groceries. Voting for Kokoomus in the parliamentary elections. Talking about whether to buy a Nokia or an Apple phone. And all this in the middle of a cosmic story that leaves anyone's head spinning? Could it really be? Was it all just just some wishful thinking? Was I just down with a bad case of conspiracy nuttiness?
So I kept digging. 911, Sandy Hook, CIA mind control, privatized money creation, fake terrorism, fake wars, false flags, chemtrails, the Ukrainian conflict, operation Gladio, sacred geometry, crop circles, BRICS bank, birth of ISIS, institutionalized pedophilia, the Kazarian mafia, Jesuits, secret space programs. More information than there was time to digest. And information which was hard to digest. Also I had never been faced with a situation where I could trust no source automatically and had to go with my gut instinct on what resonated as true.
On the micro-level the planning has been absolutely genius. The planners knew that a technocratic dystopia, which was their dream, could not be thrust onto humanity by force. It needed to be done covertly. This asked for a lot of time and vast resources. They set the time frame for the their plan to span hundreds of years. They slowly corrupted and took over governments and institutions. They taught us very young that the state of the world: wars, greed, hate, was normal. They taught us only to trust the establishments and to accept information from them without questions. They suppressed technologies which would have freed us from wage slavery and freed up time to examine the world and ourselves. Most importantly they had us hating ourselves and each other based on language, country, religion, physical appearance, what ever did the trick.
So, coupled with the spiritual understanding and the mounting evidence, there appears to be with a high degree of probability a conspiracy of cosmic proportions that's unraveling at an exponential rate. The conspiracy and the conspirators have acted as our teachers, giving us a chance to select love and forgiveness. Daybreak is fast approaching and it is making the ones that have best adapted to operate in the shadows scurry around in panic, trying to fulfill their cherishes prophesies in an impossible time frame and in impossible energetic circumstances. The final exam will be to forgive also these beings for their actions.
Again, could I be mistaken? About the conspiracy, the coming age, the cosmic picture? Yes, I could (although this is becoming less and less likely as global events unfold). But not about who I am. Why? Because I am not a thought, something to believe, but being, existence. Don't take my word for it however, courageously examine your reality. If you really are a time-bound story of yourself, does this time exist anywhere else than in your mind? Hasn't it always been the same unmoving now? If you are really just your body and your thoughts, who is the one that that knows the body, hears your thoughts and knows the world around you? Are you really limited to your body, or is it just a long held belief?
Relax into the now, relax into this space of knowing, let go of your clutch on the body and the mind. Notice that your existence is effortless and independent of the body and the mind. The body, the mind and the world can be enjoyed as beautiful yet temporary expressions of yourself, enabling you to learn and grow; as individual waves of the eternal and infinite ocean.
And yet, such a realization is not necessary nor does one need to live in a constant state of oneness. It's enough to treat everyone, even those who want to harm you, with love and forgiveness. It feels right, because you are in actuality treating yourself with love and forgiveness. The more active hating you've done (of yourself and others), the more active loving and forgiving is required (I know cause I had done a lot and the healing process continues to this day, but we'll pull through individually and as humanity). It's been a tough grade, but we're lined up for a one hell of a graduation party.